Letters to Chris. September 2nd. Day 144

I took the dogs to Mt. Evans yesterday. It was an awesome day. We hiked two different gorgeous trails, waded in mountain water, took in some incredible views and saw bighorn sheep just hanging out on the road (one actually crossed right in front of my car. This is the type of traffic jam I don’t mind). On the way home, as I was flipping through radio stations, I stopped on one playing Goo Goo Dolls. Judge if you will, I love their music. But it was the song right after that took my breath away. See, I’ve been asking Chris for another sign. Just something solid I can hold on to. I’ve never heard the song that played next, even though it came out in 1995. I absolutely LOST it, and had to pull over to get my sh*t together before continuing on my drive. They weren’t sad tears, but tears of happiness and relief. My brother, once again, heard my pleas and delivered. He always lets us know he’s still around. (PS the shirt in the picture above is one I got him for Christmas years ago. I still remember picking it out like it was yesterday. He was so hard to buy shirts for because he was so skinny but had the longest torso and arms. I have that shirt now.)

Anyway, I wanted to share these lyrics because I honestly could not think of a more fitting song for my brother to send me:

“Sister” by The Nixons:

Here I am again,
Overwhelming feelings
A thousand miles away
From your ocean home
Part of me is near

Thoughts of what we were invade
The miles that stand between
We can’t separate
You’re all I hoped you’d become

Sister I see you
Dancing on the stage
Of memory
Sister I miss you

Fleeting visits pass
Still they satisfy
Reminders of the next
Overshadow goodbye
Our flames burn as one

Sister I see you
Dancing on the stage
Of memory
Sister I miss you

All I am begins with you
Thoughts of hope understood
Half of me breathes in you
Thoughts of love remain true

Here we are again saying goodbye
Still we fall asleep underneath the same sky
You’re all I knew you’d become

Sister I see you
Dancing on the stage
Of memory
Sister I miss you

Entwined, you and I
Our souls speak from across the miles
Intertwined, you and I
Our blood flows from the same inside
Half of me, breathes in you
Thoughts of love remain true

I see you, I feel you
When I close my eyes
I see walking there…
I see you dancing in my mind

Mercy Me’s “Even If”

This song has become my crutch the past 2.5 months. Maybe you can find some comfort in it, as well.
They say sometimes you win some
Sometimes you lose some
And right now, right now I’m losing bad
I’ve stood on this stage night after night
Reminding the broken it’ll be alright
But right now, oh right now I just can’t
It’s easy to sing
When there’s nothing to bring me down
But what will I say
When I’m held to the flame
Like I am right now
I know You’re able and I know You can
Save through the fire with Your mighty hand
But even if You don’t
My hope is You alone
They say it only takes a little faith
To move a mountain
Well good thing
A little faith is all I have, right now
But God, when You choose
To leave mountains unmovable
Oh give me the strength to be able to sing
It is well with my soul
I know You’re able and I know You can
Save through the fire with Your mighty hand
But even if You don’t
My hope is You alone
I know the sorrow, and I know the hurt
Would all go away if You’d just say the word
But even if You don’t
My hope is You alone
You’ve been faithful, You’ve been good
All of my days
Jesus, I will cling to You
Come what may
‘Cause I know You’re able
I know You can
I know You’re able and I know You can
Save through the fire with Your mighty hand
But even if You don’t
My hope is You alone
I know the sorrow, I know the hurt
Would all go away if You’d just say the word
But even if You don’t
My hope is You alone
It is well with my soul
It is well, it is well with my soul
Songwriters: Bart Marshall Millard / Benjamin Glover / Crystal Lewis / David Arthur Garcia / Tim Timmons